The Duality of Accepting God’s Will

It so common that we recognize the importance and the benefits of seeking God’s will in our lives, which is a very important topic and is beyond the scope of this article. Also, how to recognize God’s will, or rather, how to discern God’s voice, is also a very important topic that is yet beyond the scope of this article. What we shall discuss very briefly here is the duality - that many of us might suffer unconsciously- of wanting and not wanting God’s will.

Let us take an example. A person develops an interest in someone, and asks God for His will. When the relationship ends, in response to the prayers, the person says: I am happy that God responded to my prayers, His will be done. However, deep in the heart the person is bitter, sad and keeps recalling the lovely dreams were hoped to be if things worked out.

What is the reason behind this duality between what one thinks and feels? And more important, how could one gets rid of that duality and truly accepts God’s will?

There are three main reasons for this duality, and hence, three orthogonal directions to overcome it.

+ First, this duality is a sign of a possibly hidden disagreement, or lack of harmony between one’s mind and ones heart, thoughts and feelings, spirit and worldly cares. This disagreement is what leads to wanting but not desiring. Hence, one direction of treatment is to work on achieving this harmony within oneself, by subjugating the body to the spirit, which will automatically lead to subjugating the desires and feelings to the spiritual mind. There are many exercises and trainings that the early fathers of the Church has put in this regard, fasting being the most famous one.
A cell phone can not accomplish a call unless it is connected, i.e., within the range of the signal. Similarly, our spirit needs to be within the “range” in order to be able to communicate with God freely, and receive His aid and grace to achieve the aimed harmony with the body. The “range” is the sacraments and spiritual activities, individual and congregational.

+ Second, this duality is also a sign that we do not fully trust God. When we send our TAX forms to an accountant or a company or an online program to calculate for us how much refund we can get, we trust it, we never re-do the calculations as a double check, we don’t suffer any worry. When we apply for a school that we guarantee we will get admitted, we don’t worry about it, but when the school is so good for our scores, we get anxious.
God is Almighty, and we need to trust Him. God is Love, and He loves us, we need to be sure that He would never plan for our harm. .God is Wisdom, and He knows better than us what is best, at what time. God would use all circumstances around us for our goodness. We need to trust God at least as we trust the accountant who will do our taxes. To achieve that, we need to replay our experiences with God and how many things seemed really bad, but turned into good at the end, whether it be saints stories and Bible stories, or our own experience. Recall how Abraham trusted God when he was asked to offer his only beloved son. To trust God needs that, in addition to honest prayers. This leads to our third and last direction.

+ We need to be honest with God. Sometimes when we have trouble, we think that the life of thanksgiving is to not complain, so while praying, we tell God: “Thank you God for every condition, I am sure all for goodness, Thy will be done.” Then we go out with a heavy heart and start to look for someone to vent out, that person be the best friend, spouse, or even spiritual father. Well, it is good to use our spiritual father guidance, but that does not eliminate the necessity that we need to vent out with God first.
I applied to the school I believe it is my best choice, and I pray for God’s will, and then I am not admitted, or for whatever reason I can not attend that school. When I stand in front of God, I ought to pour my heart in front of Him, I need to tell him about what is inside, so that I entrust it within His hands, then He would consider it a PERMISSION to cure it. He, out of His love and humility, waits upon our permission. Our permission is to tell Him: “God, I love you and I know you want goodness for me, but I really wanted this school, I found it the best because of 1, 2 and 3. It would have made me possible to do 4, 4 and 6. I HONESTLY don’t see why it didn’t happen, and I am sad. But I want to learn to accept your will, please enter with your peace into my heart, and teach me to accept Your Holy will, implant Your Holy will inside me, so that I always desire and want what you want….” God said: he who comes to me, I shall not cast away. If you tell Him what is in your heart and what is in your mind, He will interfere, grant you peace, and lead you to His Will.

May God’s will be done.