One, not Two

Most people think of marriage to be the norm, while monasticism to be the extreme. They are mistaken. Some people even think of one way to be right, or up, and the other to be left or down, and those are extremists themselves, and are mistaken. Enlightened people think of them as two parallel paths, and those are the closest to truth, but it is not quite true that marriage and monasticism are two parallel paths. Truth is that they are one path, not two!

Marriage and Monasticism are one path in the sense that one is traveling up a hill towards heaven. Multitudes of Christians are all traveling up this same path up the hill, which is narrow and difficult, require alertness, humility , self denial, perseverance and fixed eye on Christ.

Truth is that both are the one way of living eternity on earth. It just happens that some people choose to walk, hike, up the hill, while others prefer to run. Clearly if you choose to run, you will excerpt much more effort, and you risk more sever falls, should you fall, or getting tired and being forced to take "a rest", which might cause delays longer than if you have walked. Walking, you risk less, but it will take a bit longer. Walking allows you to enjoy accompany though, for two can walk hand in hand, but a runner cannot but run by her/himself.

By definition, the main difference however is that while running, your both legs get detached from the ground, you leap flying in air momentarily and continuously. If you walk, even if you speed up, you have to have one leg attached to the ground. In walking races, if a walker get both legs detached, they are disqualified for they did run!

Why would any one walk, you might wonder? Well, not all people were created as runners, or have the proper fitness to run. But most probably, some people enjoy walking over running, especially for the accompany and sharing with other, especially the walking-partner, the beautiful scenic path. Or it could be the case that they were never trained for running, and never sought after it.

After all, it is a matter of choice which way you want to climb up the same hill!
After all, walking or running, we do nothing but in Christ!
After all, running or walking, we seek to live eternity on earth, and live in Christ eternally!

"Jesus said to him, “I am the way" (John 14:6)

My Secret

Yes, my beloved, it is about the time to endorse you my will, for I know that my departure is coming soon. Please don’t cry or be sad, for this time, my death is something I look forward to. Last time, it was different. Ah! Let me tell you my secret, why should I keep it and I am leaving soon? Here is the story; I pray it may help someone… someday.

Things were just fine when all of a sudden I got infected with a sever fever that took way longer than usual. I started to faint and became really scared that death is approaching. But all that was nothing compared to the terrible feeling of being left out alone. My sisters sent to my beloved. We didn’t hear back a response. That was an awful feeling. With every minute passing, thoughts play in my mind refreshing the happy memories of the time we spent together that it all was in vain, that it was all with no real love; my beloved just did forsake me. I couldn’t believe it.

I wondered if I committed any mistake or did something wrong? Is there a certain message my beloved is trying to deliver to me? How could my beloved be so cruel? At every corner in the house, as my eye roams, there is a beautiful memory. In every street in the town, we did walk together, we were about to become one! We were about to unite! What happened?! I was about to submit my whole life to my beloved, but where is my beloved now?! By night on my bed I sought whom my soul love, but I found him not [Song of Sol. 3:1].

My sisters tried to medicate me; they tried to restore my confidence in my beloved, that there should be a really good excuse. In vain were all their trials, I couldn’t accept any good reason would let my beloved forsake me in my sickness. My beloved had withdrawn himself, and was gone: my soul failed when he spake: I sought him, but I could not find him; I called him, but he gave me no answer [Song of Sol. 5:6].

Now my throat is dried, and I am lying down on bed, and everyone I know is around me, supporting and comforting, but nothing was comforting as long as my beloved is absent. Finally, I closed my eye…. and all of a sudden, I felt my self very light. All body pains are gone, and I am being taken to somewhere where the suffering of loneliness and darkness where even more harsh than the pain of sickness. In addition, I couldn’t but thinking of my beloved who forsake me. Oh! How much I missed my beloved! I started to pray: “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” (Psalm 22:1) “How long wilt thou forget me, O LORD? for ever? how long wilt thou hide thy face from me?” (Psalm 13:1) “We have transgressed and have rebelled: thou hast not pardoned.” (Lam 3:42). And I heard no response!

After being desperate for a while, I started to inspect myself to see if I sinned against my beloved, I couldn’t find anything. I prayed with Job: “my desire is, that the Almighty would answer me” (Job 31:35). Even for that I got no answer.

I remembered my sisters were saying: there should be a good reason. I started to wonder if there is a certain message I am missing. I started to pray: Blessed are You, O Lord; teach me Your statutes. Blessed are You, O Lord; make me to understand Your commandments. Blessed are You, O Lord; enlighten me with Your righteousness. Your mercy, O Lord, endures forever. Despise not, O Lord, the works of Your hands. You have been my refuge from generation to generation.

I kept crying and whining all the time, my heart was so heavy with sorrow with no comfort. At end, I gave up. I prayed: “O LORD, I know that the way of man is not in himself: it is not in man that walketh to direct his steps. O LORD, correct me, but with judgment; not in thine anger, lest thou bring me to nothing.” (Jeremiah 10:23,24)

I was totally hopeless when all of a sudden a drop of wept of my beloved touched me! When a voice reached my ear, a voice that brought all joy to me, a voice that restored me even though I still didn’t get an answer of any of my questions, it is that voice full of joy of my beloved calling me: “Lazarus, come forth!” (John 11:43)

I felt myself heavy with body again, and walking, but still see nothing, then heard the voices of my sisters and many people glorifying God! Then you know the rest of the story, how after Our Lord Jesus resurrected, I was blessed to serve Him as a Bishop for Cyprus. You too my children, when you seek God’s will, don’t seek knowing God’s will or even how it shall come true, but rather just seek from your heart that His will be done, and leave it to Him, the Almighty, how and when to achieve it. When you are under pain and afflictions, wait in faith the four days until He comes, because He shall come in the perfect time. The four days might seem forever, but they are not. Be faithful, He never forsakes us, and He feels all pain we go through; He weeps with us. But because He is The Wisdom, He knows when is the best to stretch the hand of support.

“I cried by reason of mine affliction unto the LORD, and he heard me; out of the belly of hell cried I, and thou heardest my voice. When my soul fainted within me I remembered the LORD: and my prayer came in unto thee, into thine holy temple. But I will sacrifice unto thee with the voice of thanksgiving; I will pay that that I have vowed. Salvation is of the LORD.” (Jonah 2: 2, 7, 9)

I wish

نفسي يا ربي تاخدني في حضنك
وأسند راسي وأنام على صدرك
نفسي تخبني في جرح جنبك
نفسي قلبي يكون كله ملكك
نفسي ياربي أعيش عمري بقربك
نفسي ياربي يداوي جرحي حبك
نِفسي خضوعي يطيب يوم خاطرك
نِفسي نَفسي يرويها حنانك
نفسي دموعي تمسحها آنامك
نفسي آلامي تهونها آلامك
نفسي أفرح بيك أعيش عشانك
نفسي إرادتي تقودها ارادتك
سوق يارب وأنا وراك مش جنبك
مش مهم أشوف قدام مأنا شايفك
نفسي عيني اسمرها على وعدك
نفسي قلبي يكون ديماً ملكك
نفسي ياربي تاخدني في حضنك
وأسند راسي وأرتاح على صدرك

Joyous Merry Christmas

Beloved in Christ,

While Christmas season is a very pleasant one, it is - alas - also a very depressing season for those who go through hardship, or are lonely, during this blissful time. As blissful it is, the harsh it is. I have been there myself, regretfully, and I did spend some sad Christmas.

While it makes sense for me to be depressed when I am at hardship on time of happiness, it is contrary to the true meaning of Christmas, and shows the absence - in my mind at least - of the real reason for being joyous on Christmas, which is HOPE: "Rejoicing in hope" (Romans 12:12 - NKJV) Christmas is a season of joy because it is the season of hope. And I owe this correction to a friend, who is receiving this email.

"And now abide faith, hope and love" (1 Corinthians 13:13 - NKJV)
While it is a biblical will that I should abide in faith, absolutely and regardless of my status, mode or condition, it is not something I can do, rather it is a gift. "Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit" (Romans 15:13 - NKJV) And in order to receive any gift from God, we need to simply ask for it "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you." (Matthew 7:7 - NKJV). But we also need to know that if we ask something bad, i.e., won't help us in the path our salvation, we wont receive [St. James Epistle] and that we should seek the kingdom of heaven above any other request, even above seeking virtues [St. Matthew Gospel].


So, how can I, while I am going through this terrible hardship, abide in hope, and even rejoice in that hope? Well, take time OFF, depart the world and its cares for few minutes, and spend with God some time contemplating in the Glorious Baby. Go to the Nativity scene, and take yourself in a journey 2000 years back and imagine yourself with the Magi searching for the Glorious Baby. You start by searching the royal palace of Judea, He is not there. You ask the jewish priests, and they don't know. You go to the classy neighborhoods, you can not find Him. You roam the city and after you are tired, after you reach your limits and exhaust all your energy, you lift up your eyes and heart to, or in, the sky to find His star to lead you to Him!

Where is He? In a manager! King of Kings, Lord or Lords, in a manager! Yet this is the least sacrifice He did. What I cannot yet comprehend is that He who is above time, emptied Himself, and put Himself subject to time and its constraints! My beloved, how many day dreams of power did we imagine if we have a time machine?! Or that if we can make only one visit to the future, or to the past to make one simple change that would change the world?! Imagine if you have a time machine, and you give it up for the sake of someone you love! This might be somehow close to what our Benevolent Loving God Jesus Christ did for us, for me, and for you, each by name! This is the source of all hope, that He LOVES YOU SO VERY MUCH! "Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends." (John 15:13 - NKJV)

But there is yet more good news, or divine promise, that Christmas brings to those of us who are in hardship. Not only does God loves me, but He also demonstrated throughout human history, throughout the Bible, but more importantly throughout MY past, the He is The Wisdom, and The Almighty! [Job chapters 39-42] In Christmas, we are more delightfully reminded that God has a perfect plan for us, for "when the fullness of the time had come, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the law" (Galatians 4:4). And there is the fullness of time for everything: "To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven" (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

I invite myself, and invite you, this very Christmas to take this journey inside my/your heart, staring at His star in heaven, searching for a manager to host the Glorious Baby, to realize the joy of living the fact that under all circumstances; in poverty or richness, in health or sickness, in success or repeated trials for success, in north or south, east or west, day or night, only one thing matter: to be with Him.

Have a Blessed, Joyous, and Merry Christmas!

Becoming gods by Grace

Becoming gods by Grace

Fragrant oil

ليس لي يارب طيب أسكبه هاك قلبي النجيس لك ارفعه هو بخس ليس أهلاً بتقدمة لكنه أثمن بل كل ما أملكه إيماني يقين أنك برحمتك تقبله بل تطهره بل تقديساً تقدسه بل بتواضع وحب عجيب تسكنه عجباً أتقدمتي أم هبتك أن ارفعه؟ من يدك حقاً كل شيء نصنعه صدقاً بنعمتك كل عمل نتممه وكل خير من حنانك ترسله ولكل ليل تنثر فجراً يبدده فمن كل أسرٍ سبى قلبي تنقذه فيا ليت لي يا رب قلب أسكبه أو دموع أو صلاة أو تسبيح أرسله ليس سوى ذاك الضعيف ارفعه هو ضعيف حقاً انما، بذرة حبك تسكنه

O'Lord, I have no fragrant oil to pour Here is my wicked heart I left up it is cheap, no worthy of an offering! but it is my valuable, even all what I own my firm faith that, in your mercy, you accept it even purify it, and make it holy! even in humbleness and strange love, you dwell in it! Is it my offering or is it your gift that I lift it up?! Indeed everything we do is from you. Truly every accomplishment is by your grace! Every goodness is sent by your compassion. and for every night you send a sunrise to end it from every captivity you saved my heart Oh how I wish I have a heart to pour! Or tears, or prayers, or a praise to send! I have nothing but that weak to left up It is weak indeed, however, the seed of you love is in it!

Sunday Psali for the Virgin (English)