Matthew 22:37-39
New King James Version (NKJV)
37 Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and great commandment.39 And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’
Although it is straight plain clear, it is still a striking discovery to most Christians that our Lord Jesus Christ left us some duties, but no rights. For His will was to love one another as he has loved us and that is how people recognize us being His disciples [John 13:34,35]. For practical everyday life, this will maps down to duties but no rights!
My duty is to love, unconditionally. I am called to love everyone and this love should be incarnated into my treatment with everyone! That is I am ought to love and hence: serve my critical spouse, obey my obnoxious boss, smile at my phlegmatic neighbor, deal normally with homosexual people, deal fairly with Muslim brotherhood people (given that I am Coptic from Egypt), provide a hand to the elder lady trying to cross the street, let the way for the teenager driver trying to pass me, be patient at the cashier, pray for the corrupt leaders, sustain immorality, and the list goes forever. All this should come out of love, and yet, the most difficult part that we typically oversight (at least I did for so many years) is that we have NO RIGHTS IN EXCHANGE!!
This is so true and clear in the marital relationship. It is also the most mis-concieved will of God, probably because the duties are different. As the church commands the wife and husband on the matrimony ceremony:
+ to the wife the church commands:
"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord." (Ephesians 5:22)
+ whereas the command to the husband is:
"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her" (Ephesians 5:25)
God will here is clear: woman, submit to your husband unconditionally. This is your duty. Man, give up yourself for your wife, unconditionally. This is your duty. Both deeds should spring out of deep love: a wife loves her husband as the church loves Christ, and a husband loves his wife as Christ loves the church. The question a husband asks himself then is: what are the husband rights? What should he expect in exchange after he gives himself for his wife? The answer is actually: NOTHING. Yet, poor he, mistakenly thinks that his right is his wife's submission. Which is not true. Because when Christ loved the church, He loved her with all her pitfalls, and He gave Himself up for her to save her, without expecting any love back. Until today, how many people (for whom Christ gave up Himself on the cross to save) are still far from Him? Not only many people are refusing to submit to Christ, but they also deny Him, yet they fight against Him and His kingdom! Christ still loves them though, and continues to send His daily blessings (such as life and breath!) until this very moment! And He will continue to do so. This is exactly how a husband is expected to love his wife.
St. John Chrysostom interprets [On Ephesians, Homilie 20] these wills as follows. To husbands:
"Take then yourself the same provident care for her, as Christ takes for the Church. Yea, even if it shall be needful for you to give your life for her, yea, and to be cut into pieces ten thousand times, yea, and to endure and undergo any suffering whatever—refuse it not."
Then to wives:
"And Paul would never without a reason and without an object have spent so much pains on this subject, as when he says here, Wives, be in subjection unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. And why so? Because when they are in harmony, the children are well brought up, and the domestics are in good order, and neighbors, and friends, and relations enjoy the fragrance. But if it be otherwise, all is turned upside down, and thrown into confusion. And just as when the generals of an army are at peace one with another, all things are in due subordination, whereas on the other hand, if they are at variance, everything is turned upside down; so, I say, is it also here. Wherefore, says he, Wives, be in subjection unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord."
He explains then in more details the motives behind such commandment to wives and then concludes: "
Let us take as our fundamental position then that the husband occupies the place of the head, and the wife the place of the body." The reader is referred to this enlightening and edifying homily by St. Jon Chrysostom on Ephesians (
here) for more with regard to the duties of a husband and a wife. But this is just one example of the duties one has, as a will of God, with no rights. Let us take another example briefly.
God gave us the duty to do charity: "for I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.’" (Matthew 25:35,36) This example is more clear to show how it is duties with no rights. Nothing is offered in exchange by whom we offer love in form of charity. No duties are on the naked person we clothe, the sick we visit, etc. Our duty is to love the person, out of our love to Christ Himself, or as if that person is Christ Himself, and then our charity deed will spring out of our love.
This is our duty: to love. And therefore, when one sits down to see how well s/he is doing, one should only look at her/his duties and how well they are accomplished. Is that exhausting? Yes and No. Yes if we think we have rights and try to ignore them. But No if we realize that we have no rights. Our rights are in fact with Christ only. Since He is the one who asked us to do these things. But if we think deeper, we will realize that we have no rights with Christ, in fact, we are in debt with His eternal Love! That is to say, He already provides, and will continue to provide, our rights!
